Warning: Not for the Faint of Heart or Queasy of Stomach

This story begins innocently enough, but do NOT read past the first paragraph if you are easily grossed out or if you are about to eat.... So, Caleb wanted to go to our local coffee place this morning, and it wasn't too difficult for him to persuade me since we both love the place. It's a little indy coffee shop here that even serves some fair trade, organic stuff. So we headed out for our white sugar, white flour breakfast :)

Breakfast was going well enough. Caleb was running amuck around the almost vacant second story. I was enjoying my coffee and making a few phone calls. He notifies me that he has poop. I debate what to do. I don't think they have a changing table, and I don't think it's appropriate to change him on the floor. Infamous thought "Wouldn't want to contaminate the place." STUPID me! So I tell him that I'll finish my coffee and then we'll go change in the car. So, I've taken a few more sips of coffee when he says "Poop on my legs." And this is when I realize that I've made a crucial mistake.

Alas, we are attempting to potty train the boy. It is a long and drawn out process, but we feel that we are making strides. He wears underwear at home and pull-ups when we go out. But not today; today I have forgotten to change him into a pull-up. He has on underwear, and poop is leaking everywhere! Any attempt at evacuating the place would only result in more widespread poop leakage. There is only one option; change him on the floor immediately! So, I put Madi down to crawl on what I hope is a non poop-contaminated spot - oh gross! And I attempt to clean up the mess that is Caleb. Poop is all over his legs, his feet, his shorts and the floor (which is green carpet by the way). His underwear find their new home in the trash can, joining "Bailey Goes Camping." I try to quickly clean up the mess before anyone sees. There are two other customers sitting in the room, and I hope that they are oblivious to the fracas. In case the situation has escaped their knowledge, Caleb loudly broadcasts "Poop everywhere, poop on my legs, poop on my shorts..." I beg him to be quiet as I frantically try to scrub his legs and the carpet, silently pleading with Madi to stay away from the poop-infested area. Thankfully, we are able to salvage the shorts (of course I don't have a wet bag on hand). Thank God, I do have wipes (my friends know that this is a RARE occurrence) and a pull-up on hand. I attempt to discreetly dispose of the evidence and scoop up Madi. We sneak out the back entrance (SO happy that the coffee shop has an outside staircase!) with Caleb clad in only a t-shirt, a pull-up, and his crocs (which he informs me that he has tee-teed on). We go straight home, and dunk the boy in the bath.

Why do I go out in public with the children? WHY?????

p.s. As I am writing this, Caleb informs me that he "has poop." Aurgh!!!!!